People Want To See People Work

I watched this interesting interview of philosopher, Alain de Botton talking about fashion. An interesting point he made was that designers that can captivate their audience by revealing the process of how their product is made. I think is is absolutely poinent in marketing as it adds value to a brand or product. Seeing how much care and effort is put in to creating a product makes it something to be appreciated. When I worked in organic cosmetic retail, I was absolutely faschinated by the process of how the ingredients were farmed andhow it is turned into the product at companies like Dr. Hauschka or Weleda. I recently watched the Loic Prigent documentary of Marc Jacobs Louis Vuitton and was truly fascinated by the process revealed. I think this idea of transparency is something every brand manager should be paying attention to. It's the people behind a product that can add value it.

Zoe's Choice

I read this article by Zoe Lewis in the Mail Online. What struck me was the author's brutal honesty about the way she felt misled by feminist ideals of "having it all" when making life decisions. Zoe feels betrayed because she chose her career over love, with the notion that a successful career would bring life fulfillment. I used to think this way, so I empathize, that an ideal can make you blind to see the flip side of a given situation. Many readers commented that she should stop blaming feminism for the choices she made.

There is something to be said about how women criticize each other about the choices they make, as though her personal choice would be "letting the team down" otherwise. In such circumstance, is this really a matter of choice?

This is when a choice becomes a dilemma (or a catch 22); to choose what is perceived as socially agreeable, or to choose to make one's heart content. Both options carry consequences, one must bear the grunt of either.

Ask any person that claims to be feminist and they will say that feminism is about choice. But read a feminist manifesto and it will imply that there is a choice one ought to make because it is "the right one" (for society). Faced with such double meaning (or double speak, if you will), is this what you would call freedom to choose (without being judged for it)? I think not. I think we need to stop judging each other for the personal decisions we make.

The situation many women feel about choosing between love and career is not unlike what happens in the movie, All That Heaven Allows (1955), Cary is a well-heeled widow who falls in love with a working class man that her peers disapprove of. She is faced with choosing whether or not to marry him. To not marry would keep her friends and children happy. To marry would be her happiness, but fear that she would appear foolish in her decision.

Every coin has two sides. I think we must distinguish what is an informed choice and choosing blindly. It is like going to the voting pills and voting for someone because you truly stand behind them, having researched what the other candidates are about as well, or choosing someone because their name on the ballot looks most familar. It is only when we take responsibility for our choices that we are choosing freely.

Why Women Feel They Need Marriage

Marriage, why women are eager for marriage, I never understood the feeling until I flew the safety of my parents nest to live on my own in another country. You see, I'm a little bit of a late bloomer when it comes to adulthood and love relationships. I lived with my parents all through university, and into my working life. I left home at 25 and felt the freedom of being on my own for the first time. Now marriage and relationships are something that I think about a lot. All this time at home, I never felt the need to get married, why do I feel differently now?

Being unfamiliar with such irrational emotions of wanting to get married, I started reading self-help books, which weren't helpful; they just offered explanations about why a guy didn't call you, or fluffy sentiments on love. Not quite the answers I was looking for. Why does the modern women need marriage? Or even men? After all, women are so financially independent, they can provide for themselves, and even have babies without having men in their life.

Yet women still seek men in to be their lives and it s the topic of many television shows and movies. In a scenes from the movie, He's Just Not That Into You (see trailer), Jennifer Ainston's character asks her live-in boyfriend;

... You don't ever feel like we're going against nature, or something by not getting married?

And then he responses with a rational, logical explanation of why it's not necessary to get married. Later in the movie, she decides to leave him, despite their otherwise loving relationship.

Maybe there was some truth to her question, not getting married might be going against nature? I started reading about evolutionary psychology, which explains things from a biological standpoint. Things became much clearer to me. But the answer would be sexist, and considered politically incorrect in view of today's post-feminist-equal-opportunity society.

The answer: Women are biologically programmed to depend on men.

Are you offended? It's only when I realized that biology overrides human logic, that I can appreciate the explanation. Feminists spent a lifetime fighting for equality, that the biological differences between men and women are ignored. Biology affects our emotions, should we ignore that?

This article in the Mail Online explains very well that in prehistoric times, women depended on men to fend for them and their children against predators and violence. The status of the man also meant how much access she would have to resources from their tribe. Abandonment would have been a terrifying ordeal, as successful relationships were crucial for survival.

So despite the perfectly logical explanation a man can give to a woman about not getting married, the biological urge may eat away at her; for fear that their less secured relationship might leave her abandoned in the future. While the desire for a diamond engagement ring is not quite a biologically programmed disposition (maybe Bridezilla would argue), the ring is merely symbolic of the man's capacity to be a good provider.

I think it is rather interesting how evolutionary psychology can explain human behavior. Just think, if men and women understood each other in such terms; perhaps we wouldn't fight so much if we weren't fighting biology. We might just get along famously.

Lost In The Generation Gap

I remember a time where I hung out with colleagues on our breaks at the loading dock of a luxury department store in Toronto. We were in our early twenties, just graduated from university, or never went and led nomadic lives. One time, this one colleague remarked on the situation of employment, "once all the baby boomers retire, there will be plenty of jobs out there for us". While I thought that was a logical idea at the time, that somehow things would naturally run its course. Now I'm not so sure.

As the age for life expectancy has increased, here in Britain, the government is proposing to extend the age for retirement to 70. That means the baby boomers are expected to reign in the work place for much longer, and its younger generation of workers will simply have to wait much longer for golden opportunities to arise.

These concerns I have are not unwarranted. According to this New York Times article, over in America, college students are reporting the scarcity of summer jobs and internships. Also cited was the concern that students who enter the workforce during hard economic times may lag behind their counterparts that graduated during better times, which could last as long as 15 years! I'd say, that is a lot of dues to pay compared to what our baby boomer bosses would have had gone through.

I wonder if these hard economic times will spark a generation of innovative business leaders. With many educated young people with a lot of time on their hands, they may band together to make things happen for themselves; perhaps in a search of financial independence, that is independent of employers. We may even see them on the next Apprentice.

Imaginary Love

Sometimes when you're looking for love, you might get so caught up in what you deem to be the ideal partner, that you forget that this person might only ever exist in your imagination! While it is essential to know what you are looking for in a partner, it is of equal importance to accept someone for who they are and not the potential you see in them. You can not change a person; the only thing you can change is your attitude and expectations of that person. But also realize that if someone is just not compatible with you, no amount of change on your part will ever be enough. You may grow to resent them later on. If that is the case, move on and may it be a lesson learned.

But if they are compatible with you on many levels, forget that they are not quite the perfect mate you had in mind, and cherish them as they are! You might be pleasantly surprised that he or she may become your ideal mate.

Love Is... Vulnerable

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. -C.S. Lewis

This is one of the most fascinating quotes about love that I've ever come across. It implies to explain why some people can not love; perhaps they've been hurt by loved ones before. Lewis says that the heart will change, become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable; I wonder if this is true. Does the heart turn into stone, hard and unchangeable, or does it turn to ice, frozen but could be thawed?

I suppose the only way to answer this question is to ask, can a selfish person change? WikiHow has suggestions on how to stop being selfish, but I think the only way to really change is when one realizes the need to.

Paresite Singles; Are You One of Them?

I've finally got the words to describe it, a single man or woman who makes an income, but lives at home with their parents, barely paying rent.

They call them, parasite singles. And the number of them are growing. Are you one of them? Do you know any?

I know many of my twenty-something peers still living at home, and can you blame them? It's difficult making a living that would be enough to pay the rent, the bills, the groceries, and still have enough left over to buy the latest fashion or gadget. But wait a minute, didn't our parents go out into the world and make it on their own without those expenses on luxuries?

The other side of the argument is that some have chosen to live at home so that they could save enough money until they establish themselves. That sounds reasonable enough. But does that come at the cost of becoming independent and responsible, so that one day, they would feel confident about being ready for life's next milestone; mature relationships, marriage, and possibly children?

Then again, I do know some people in their late twenties that fritter away their earnings on designer clothes and Saturday night drinking. But maybe they are learning it the hard way-- getting into debt, until they decide that they must pull up their socks.

What do you think? This article in USAToday explains the situation in Japan, where many girls well into their thirties are choosing the creature comforts of the parent's nest until Prince Charming comes along.

Another thought, will the current recession make this phenomenon even more wide spread?